3 Reasons Why Your Children Don’t Talk To You
The relationship between parent and child varies in each family. Many parents would like to know what the secret is to having great communication with their children. The truth is, there are no secrets, you just need to learn to communicate. Perhaps the reason your children don’t talk to you is because you ignored them or didn’t know how to relate to them.
Forget the advice of friends. They may have good intentions, but no one knows their child better than a parent. In this article we will talk about the 3 reasons why your children do not talk to you . Try to analyze your family situation to see if you are part of these reasons.
Reasons Your Children Don’t Talk To You
1. Demand too much or too little
As parents you don’t know everything and even if your children are getting to know the world, you need to give them the opportunity to express their ideas. Listen to them and support them. It does not matter if they are wrong, when they fall they will learn to get up again. They will appreciate that you supported them in the fall and encouraged them when they got up.
It is important that it be a personal experience. Let them be creative and think about this:
- You talk too much. If your child does not express himself because he is introverted, you need to stop and spend time with him and wait for him to do so. Have patience, because any false step will make it close again. You will have to be alone with him and in silence.
- You speak too little. On the other hand, if your child is outgoing, you will need to talk more. Try to follow his rhythm to see him happier and little by little he will see that he can trust you and tell you things.
- When you ask questions, let them be open questions. You will see that this will be enough to eliminate some of the reasons why your children do not talk to you. But don’t interrupt, ask the question and wait patiently for the answer.
2. Don’t listen to your children
Some parents want to know everything about their children, but are sometimes unwilling to hear the full story. If, for example, your child’s teacher calls you to tell you that she slapped another child and your child admits it, don’t rush to scold him. Wait patiently for him to tell you why he did it, even if the situation is serious.
He is innocent until proven guilty, but to prove it, you must allow him to defend himself. It is your right as a human being. Otherwise, you will make the mistake that your child will fear instead of respecting you because he will know that you will always question what he says or does.
If this happens, you will notice that it is one of the main reasons why your children are not talking to you. And when they decide to do it, they tell lies. For this the best thing is to listen to them and, once done, show them the importance of sincerity and teach them why what they have done is wrong (if that is the case).
3. Make hasty conclusions
Sometimes parents draw hasty conclusions instead of asking multiple questions to get the full picture. Have you ever heard that parents are like psychologists? True, you have to ask questions until you are sure that this is what your child thinks.
“How does this make you feel?” or “What do you think of this decision?” These simple questions will help you learn the reasons for a child’s behavior. This way you will learn to look through your child’s eyes and it will be much easier to have a conversation. But to do that, you have to consider this:
- You are distracted: your children may be willing to talk, but it is you who may not have picked up the signals because you are too busy. It may also be that your children are tired of competing with the phone or computer for your attention.
- Perhaps technology has become one of the reasons your children don’t talk to you. When you talk to them, put your cell phone away. Especially when you see them coming home from school or work.
- If you are really busy, reschedule everything and tell them you want to give them your full attention. Do whatever you have to do and immediately focus on your children.
As you can see, when your children do not talk to you, in most cases the fault lies with the barriers created by the parents. Analyze the problem and address it. It is never late, even if your children are teenagers or adults.
