3 Ways To Destroy A Child’s Self-esteem
Every parent wants their child to grow up confident and able to cope with any situation in life. But sometimes, unwittingly, an adult achieves the opposite effect because with words or behavior, they help destroy the child’s self-esteem.
Children need to be supported and encouraged by their parents in everything they do. For an adult it may seem nonsense, but for a child it is a very serious matter. Encouragement, help to do things better and lots of love are all a child needs.
In some circumstances, a parent may inadvertently say or do something that makes the child feel underappreciated. Or, even worse, it seriously damages her self-esteem. Here are some mistakes we make towards our children; being aware of them helps us not to repeat them again.
Doing too many things for the baby
Your child wants to do his homework by himself; if, on the other hand, “you make them in his place”, he will think that it is not necessary to do them or that they are not within his competence. That way he’ll stop doing them willingly. When children succeed in completing a task, they derive great satisfaction from it and feel good about themselves.
What happens when you do too many things on behalf of your child?
Doing things for the baby may be your way of showing affection but, in reality, you’re not doing him a favor. In this way you deny the child the opportunity to acquire the skills necessary for life, harming him when he is an adult. Furthermore, it creates excessive dependence in him and robs him of the satisfaction of getting things by himself. Ultimately, helping your child too much will give him the conviction that he is unable to achieve his goals.
How to solve this problem
Don’t do too much for your children, but help them fend for themselves. If they are wrong, do not worry: they will have the opportunity to repeat and learn from their mistakes … and self-esteem will be strengthened.
Faced with difficulties, say: it’s easy!
When your child is struggling to achieve something, even if it is just homework, it may be very easy for you, but difficult for your child.
What happens when you tell the child: it’s easy
Words such as “It’s easy, you do it great” are spoken with the intention of motivating and encouraging the child. In fact, it could cause your child to think of having in itself something wrong: “If is difficult for me and my mother is easy, maybe it’s because I’m stupid” .. This brings the child to become discouraged and just throw the sponge. Here’s how we hit her self-esteem without realizing it.
How to behave
Instead of encouraging him by saying it’s easy, try “It might be a little difficult” or “I, at your age, found it difficult too, but with a little effort you can get good results.” In this way, the child who is faced with a difficulty will understand that, however difficult it may be at the beginning, by working hard he can do it. This is a motivating message, which strengthens her self-esteem.
Don’t let him get it wrong
Mistakes are a part of life and we all have to learn from them, adults and children. You may feel it is your duty to help your child not make mistakes. This attitude will make him helpless in the face of life and his self-esteem will be considerably compromised.
What happens when you don’t allow your child to make mistakes
If the child cannot afford to make mistakes or is overprotected, he will not be able to “unravel” in adult life. He will become an addicted person with a bad opinion of himself. He will be led to think that making a mistake is bad, because he has a painful experience of it. You must not deny your child the opportunity to learn from their mistakes, to admit that they have been wrong, and to have the satisfaction of knowing how to remedy them.
How to help your child
Don’t stop him from making mistakes, instead help him do things as best he can and be accountable for his actions. Only in this way will he have a healthy view of mistakes and will realize how useful they can be in life.
