A Difficult Moment For The Couple: The Arrival Of The New Born
Nobody told you it was going to be easy. But they didn’t even warn you of how difficult it can be to face the arrival of the new born. For a couple it is a magical moment, but, if you have not already been a father or a mother, there is no one to warn you of everything that involves caring for a newborn, a being so fragile that requires so much. Fatigue and the lack of good sleep can turn this wonderful time into a difficult time for the couple.
Lack of sleep and fatigue
Upon arrival of the new born, the parents are denied sleep, a deprivation they certainly had never suffered before. Neither is able to recharge their energies, neither at night nor during the day. Fatigue causes emotional health to fail; in addition, there is a new responsibility, the biggest they have ever faced: baby care. And all this without any education.
Furthermore, the mother will have gone through one of the hardest and most difficult moments of her life: the birth, natural or caesarean. She will be tired, exhausted and with her body prey to a hormonal whirlwind, which, sometimes, will give her contradictory sensations. Faced with this situation, the father looks for ways to help her and be close to her. There are many changes in which you are invested: habits change and fatigue increases. In return, the only reaction received is a series of crying and screaming: the baby needs constant attention.
The arrival of the new born in the life of the parents
During pregnancy, we know that symptoms can be hard and difficult – the body changes, and so do the emotions. Contractions and childbirth are the biggest pains a woman faces. We are warned of all this, but we often forget to add that babies give a lot of work and that even recovering from birth, natural or caesarean, takes some time, and is even painful.
Nobody even warns us of how the arrival of the new born can upset married life. Even the happiest couples will have to overcome difficult obstacles in order to regain family harmony. It is possible that marriages united by a strong and stable emotional bond can weaken in the face of all that caring for a newborn involves.
Taking care of the emotional bond
An emotional distance can arise between parents. Without realizing it, they can start playing the role of parents and forget that they are also a couple. It is possible that, for the first time, in a couple relationship you are distanced. It can be a difficult time, no doubt, and it can cause both members of the couple to feel confused and think they don’t really love each other.
But all of this is not real. Fatigue and lack of sleep can make you feel emotions that make you confused. You may come to think that this phase is not as good as you thought, or that your partner is not up to the task. Fatigue speaks for itself, because taking care of a newborn is not easy. Yet, it is right now that you need each other most.
Learning to communicate effectively is critical to taking care of your emotional bond. Talk with empathy and assertiveness at all times, even if fatigue is part of the normality of your lives. Learn to ask for help when you really need it, be honest with your emotions, and look for moments to be able to talk about what’s really bothering you, without letting bad feelings get in the way.
It can be done
Yes. If both of you do your part and remember every day that you are a couple as well as parents, then you will be able to overcome this crisis and these difficult moments. Caring for a new baby is not easy at all, and perhaps special family circumstances will make you feel even more anxious. However, with willpower and lots of unconditional love, it is possible to make it.
As the months go by, you will realize that the quarrels and arguments will begin to subside. Feelings of closure will become something of the past. You will know that you have been through a difficult phase in your marriage, but, at the same time, that all of this has helped you to be more united and make your emotional bond much stronger.
