Why Doesn’t Your Teenage Son Want To Do His Homework?
There are children and teenagers who are able to clean and tidy their bedrooms without their parents having to remind them a thousand times to do so. They don’t even brush their teeth or hands without being reminded. A pre-teen or a teenager might not want to do homework without being repeated several times. If this is the case, you are certainly wondering why your teen doesn’t want to do his homework.
Well, today we will talk about this unfortunately very frequent problem and how you, as parents, can deal with it effectively, without waging a war with the teenager of the house.
Why doesn’t your teen want to do his homework?
Teens generally think that if they don’t want to do a task, someone else should do it. Or that if they don’t want to do it for now, they should be able to do it later when they feel like it. What can parents do when their children don’t want to do their homework? We give you some suggestions.
When a teenager “forgets” to do his homework
Teenagers often use as an excuse the fact that they “forgot” to arrange the backpack, to bring empty glasses and plates to the kitchen, to tidy up the room, study and do homework. If you suspect that forgetting homework is just an excuse he uses to manipulate you, it is normal to feel angry.
Be careful with homework reprimands
Complaining is certainly not the proper way to communicate . If your child starts complaining, stop them now and invite them to speak up as a responsible person.
Reward him when he does his homework and kindly explain to him why he should do his duties without making it a problem. Also, tell him that if he keeps complaining, you simply won’t listen until he realizes there is no point.
In fact, some teens are very manipulative, but most are sincere when they promise to clean up the mess they left behind “in a minute”, rinse the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher “next time” and study spelling. They just want to do it “later”. However, they end up forgetting their promises.
It seems disrespectful to parents to interrupt their children while, for example, they are watching their favorite show, but unless your child has demonstrated his ability to keep his promises, allowing him to postpone them runs the risk of backfire.
You will end up feeling that he lied to you and your child will end up getting angry because you are angry with him. Whether it’s because he handles criticism by blaming himself and feeling like a failure, or by blaming you for bothering him, getting angry isn’t healthy for anyone.
Don’t feel betrayed
It’s easy to feel cheated if your child promises to start homework “early” but doesn’t. On the other hand, it is foolish to continue to trust a teenager who regularly breaks such promises.
If you continue to trust instead of facing the problem, you will perpetuate a negative dynamic. Every teenager must learn to be responsible, but learning requires a teacher, in this case the parents.
Do not expect your child to do their homework responsibly if they have demonstrated amply that they do not want to. If she always leaves her bedroom messy, doesn’t clear the table when she finishes eating, and always puts things off at the last minute, don’t expect her to do her homework.
For this reason, if you want your child to do things well and responsibly, you need to lead by example. Remember that you are always his greatest example, in everything, at home and away from home.
Be patient
You will also need to arm yourself with patience with your children, as adolescence is a difficult time for everyone. They will seek their identity and attempt to do things “their way”. They will try to challenge the rules and limits, and this is normal, but the attitude of the parents is essential.
If you show anger or discomfort at the way they do things, it will only make it worse. In this sense, patience is essential. Being patient with your children will help you have a better relationship with them and they will feel that you are respecting them.
Listening is important
When a teenager feels respected, appreciated and listened to, it will be easier for him to do things without having to constantly remind him. Try to negotiate and be flexible, as long as there are limits set in advance. Only then will your child know what is expected of him and what the consequences are when he does not comply with what he has to do.
