Respect Between Parents And Children Is Built By Example
Respect between parents and children is essential to achieve a solid bond and a healthy relationship capable of growing over time. However, the path may be more difficult than we think, and when our child disrespects us, we often fail. But what does respect between parents and children consist of?
In a situation of disrespect, the best we can do is teach our child that he was wrong. However, it is often difficult not to react negatively. In fact, it’s worth knowing that much more is achieved through self-control and teaching instead of shouting and punishing our child.
No father or mother “is born learned”. In this article, we will try to understand how to act in all those situations in which respect between parents and children must be taught. Obviously, without disturbing one’s inner peace and without spoiling the mood.
Respect between parents and children: the most common reactions
When an adult is faced with a situation of disrespect from their child, they generally do two things:
- He remains silent and stunned or paralyzed, in a state of shock.
- Reacts negatively with impulsiveness. In this case, the situation is magnified and exaggerated, through violent demonstrations, screams and, finally, imposing a punishment on the child.
The mistake of imposing and demanding respect is often made. But perhaps the latter has not yet been clearly and decisively explained to their children. Therefore, the first step is to start respecting the child, paying attention to him and understanding him based on his age and needs.
Dialogue is essential for a good relationship
Respect is undoubtedly one of the most important values to teach your children, since it is a mutual value: it is given with the intention of being received. WARNING! It is not a question of thinking that if you respect your child, you are elevating him above you; it’s about reaching it and trying to understand what it thinks or feels.
Talk to your child. Find an appropriate time, sit down together to talk. Try to do this in a space and time where both of you feel comfortable. But above all, the important thing is to have a positive attitude aimed at mutual understanding and seeking solutions.
Our advice is to patiently respond to your child’s concerns. This will always be the best way to make him feel respected and find a good role model in you. Who better than parents can teach their children anything about it? Maybe they will both end up growing more than you can imagine.
Be models of respect between parents and children
One of the first things to do as a parent is to learn to be role models. In this sense, the most important thing is that you yourself are the first to respect these rules.
Here are some suggestions:
- Follow and respect the rules.
- Be consistent. It is important that your child does not feel confused by your behavior. Otherwise, he won’t take you seriously.
- Clearly define the limits and explain why. WARNING! Children love to push boundaries, it’s their way of experimenting. It is not a personal offense directed at you. Therefore, by setting clear boundaries and explaining them, the child may lose interest in this exploration, thus avoiding any conflicts.
- Recognize when your child is doing things right. This is important to leave a positive impression on him and make him interested in doing the right thing.
How do you say NO?
Sometimes it is very difficult to deny something to your children, because we think that in this way we guarantee their well-being. The reality is that if you want to see your children happy, it is best to respect roles and learn to say no when necessary.
Don’t be afraid of their crying or frustrating reactions. Faced with these reactions, stand still without showing yourself tyrants. In fact, it is one thing to teach them discipline and respect, it is quite another to use force and mistreat them.
By being responsible and setting rules, your child will receive the most important message of all: that you love him and that you are interested in what happens to him. Furthermore, you are able to know what his needs and wants are. Respect is a value, yes, but it is also a meeting point between human beings with different perceptions.
Discipline yes, tyranny no
When you talk to your child about his behavior – and especially the reasons that led to it – you don’t have to scream or turn the conversation into a fight. In fact, this will only make him more irreverent towards you.
Raising your voice no longer gives authority, credibility, or respect, as many parents think. In reality, screaming can only foster fear, disobedience, and alienate parents and children. On the contrary, always try to speak calmly and take care of your gestures, tone of voice and what you say, because your children will also respond in the same way.
When your child contradicts you and responds to you in the middle of a conversation, you should do everything possible to explain to him that his attitude is wrong. Parents need to make a difference and teach that there are more respectful ways of saying the same thing but without being violent, aggressive or rude.
Although in some cases it is very difficult to put this into practice, parents must always remain calm in the face of a child’s “rebellion”. In fact, if you react aggressively you will make the situation worse.
