We Are A Couple, Not Just Parents

You and I have received the best gift in the world: our baby. However, besides being parents we are a couple. Two in one,  two that continue to look for each other  . And we are  three who continue to draw their complicity in caresses, in the full awareness of having entered a new phase, in something bigger, more intense, different.

When it comes to the bond of a couple in front of children, it is very common to find books and articles that explain to us, on the one hand, how we must agree with the child’s education, on the other hand, how to face that stage of emptying the nursery when, finally, our children leave home.

But what happens to the couple as such? What happens in this intimate and private nucleus when the first child is born and, somehow, we stop being who we used to be? Because, whether we want it or not,  both the father and the mother undergo a small inner revolution. New roles appear ,  new responsibilities that, in some way, affect the couple’s relationship.

Today on Siamo Mamme we want to talk about this.

There are those who speak of a small crisis, of new roles and even of contradictory feelings. Until recently it was said that it was common for the father to feel “shunned”, that this intimate dependence of the child with his mother left the figure of the father in a corner.

However, nowadays, paternal education is more active and more present, inviting us to frame the whole private atmosphere of the couple in relationship with the child differently, in a richer, more nourished and positive way for all.

We are tired, but our complicity, pleasure and affection accompany us

All those last minute plans are over: today we don’t cook and eat out, we leave for the weekend, we are alone you and me …  Everything changes, we know, but the arrival of a child is a big and positive change .

So, it happens that the most complicated moments are those in which you arrive home from the hospital, when you have to share the responsibilities, take care of crying, change diapers, adjust working hours and look at each other to laugh at our dark circles, at our exhausted faces …

Everything is new and everything is intense. And the new stages are always lived with intensity in the couple, they are in turn a challenge, they allow us to get to know each other much better. These are moments in which we come to love each other much more.

Dad and mom want to be alone for a few weeks: they are nesting!

After the baby is born, new parents  will no doubt want to take a little time in privacy and solitude. There will be time for the family to get used to the new arrival. There will be time for friends to get to know this little treasure. There will be time to fill the house with movement, laughter and good company.

Now what parents want is to nest and this period will help them not only to get to know the baby, to keep him close and to fill him with kisses, caresses and attention. It  will  also ensure that the couple look into each other’s eyes to meet again as “parents”, as “family”,  leaving behind the phase in which they were alone.

We are a couple: you and I are one and we are two in a new phase

In this new phase, many obstacles, new challenges and responsibilities will emerge, among which we will always be the best point of reference for our children. However,  there is one aspect that we must never neglect: the relationship with the partner. Our  bond, that magic that we must continue to nurture through looks and small details.

Sometimes,  the busy routine of raising a child makes us overlook a few things. We forget to look each other in the eye, to laugh for nothing and for everything, to say kind words, to prioritize ourselves, to value ourselves, to take care of each other as we did before.