How To Teach Children To Negotiate For Life

Children must learn to negotiate because in life it will serve them at work, in relationships and in the family. But it is essential to do it right!

There will be times in your child’s life when he or she will have to demonstrate that he can negotiate. Parents may know that their children are excellent negotiators at home, but what happens outside the home? Your child will find himself in situations where his wants and needs will conflict with those of other people.

Learning to handle these situations is a vital skill that children need to start negotiating as soon as possible. Parents need to reinforce these principles, whenever they have the opportunity, so that their child learns, little by little, to stand up for what he considers right for himself.

How to teach children to negotiate for life

Here are some tips for teaching children to negotiate for life:

• Teach him that life is not a competition. It is not just about getting what you want, but about finding solutions where everyone gets something of what they want. If two people gave in a little but came out happy, that’s a much bigger success than getting away with it but letting someone else feel left out.

• Emphasize that maintaining a respectful and caring attitude towards others is essential for negotiations to work. If people feel attacked, they won’t be willing to compromise.

• Remind them that one way to negotiate is to openly and directly acknowledge the feelings, needs and concerns of the person in front of them. Phrases like this can help: “It’s bad to feel excluded. Let’s find a way to do it in a way that’s right for everyone ” .
• The success of the negotiation depends on both listening and what you say. Encourage your child to ask questions that help him fully understand the other person’s point of view.

• Emphasize the importance of having an open mind. Help him think flexibly and creatively when looking for solutions.
• Reiterate the importance of staying calm. If things get hot, teach your child that the best way to avoid making things worse might be to take a break for a few minutes. Then go back to the negotiating table once everyone has calmed down.

Lay the foundations for negotiation

To lay the foundation for these skills even with very young children, you can use games that teach the value of collaboration or commitment to achieve goals.

Memory and comprehension games in which contestants have to answer questions about stories told in exchange for sweets or other symbolic prizes can also teach children to listen to who they are in front of.

Games focused on collecting pieces can be modified so that players can exchange pieces with each other and have to negotiate by making compromises. Older children can learn a lot about the principles of trading from games like Monopoly.

The importance of negotiating for life

Negotiation in life teaches us fairness and understanding and to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. In this perspective, the negotiations are more likely to end with the most favorable possible results for all parties involved.

Children gain power, independence and respect when their parents encourage them to negotiate, even if they are very young. Together decide what clothes to wear, what to eat for breakfast, when the room should be cleaned, what time it is best to start doing homework, etc. these are all great opportunities to teach children the art of negotiation.

Parents who see negotiation and compromise as a fundamental family value bring up children who are more independent, who have their own opinions, feelings and needs and who know how to respect them. Children who are taught negotiation are also much more likely to return this honor than others.

It can be difficult, but certainly not impossible

It can be difficult to successfully negotiate bedtime with nine- and seven-year-olds. Even making a reasonable compromise with a teenager on the weekend curfew. But this comparison is valid and necessary.

Respect, honor, and empathy during parent-child negotiations when they are younger often result in pleasant negotiations and compromises during adolescence. Remember that negotiating with your children does not mean giving up, because you are teaching them one of the most important lessons in life.