Instead Of Perfect Children, Dedicate Yourself To Educating Happy Children
All parents want their children to be happy. They want them to be ready to face life, to avoid daily difficulties with as much ease and positivity as possible. Often, however, in an attempt to satisfy this desire, they put too much pressure on the children and enter them in a competition to be the best, the most suitable. To be the perfect children. Instead the most important thing is to educate happy children.
To educate happy children you don’t need expensive courses, super innovative toys, cutting-edge systems.
When your children were born, you got acquainted with the most beautiful beings in the world. You saw them and they seemed perfect, as if you had dreamed of them. And indeed they are: your children are perfect children, without a doubt. You know this, but, at the same time, you are aware that those children so adorable and intelligent must be ready to get by in this world so fierce and competitive, this modern world where it seems that only the strongest survive.
The awareness of the competitiveness that exists in these times wears out many parents and pushes them to enroll children in a large number of activities. The problem is that not only do they just sign them up, they also end up demanding that they be the best.
For many parents, the necessary preparation of their children means that their grades are excellent, that they know how to play an instrument with skill, that they are prodigies in a sport, that they are clean and polite, that they always behave well, that they eat whatever they find. on the plate, that they do their homework … May they be good children and – why not? – that they are perfect children. But educating happy children is something else.
You already know: the competition is tough. Sometimes, the toughness of this struggle is also seen between parents. Some seem to be competing to show who educates their children best. In this kind of battle, we measure who has the best children, who are the best prepared for this modern world.
The problem is that many parents forget that children need to have time to be children. To play, get dirty, stay in bed, talk to other children in the park. Just to be happy.
The unhappiness of perfect children
Surely you have seen a father who, in the middle of a football match, yells at his son how he should hit the ball. If you find the courage to look up a little and manage to focus on the photograph you are mentally taking, you will find that, next to that control freak father, there are others who are telling their son what to do. . The same goes for some mothers, at the dance recital.
Some parents intrude on their child’s activities to such an extent that they seem to experience it through them, and they feel frustrated that their children are not doing what they want. It is possible that, in that moment of tension, they forget that their children are giving their all and that, at the same time, they are struggling with the pressure their parents put them on. Perhaps they forget that the presence of their parents is enough to make them nervous and that to this must be added the desire not to want to disappoint them.
At that time it is good for parents to remember that their children are just babies and that they are learning to play or dance, and that developing that learning should be fun.
Such a huge demand produces frustration in children. In fact, psychologist and therapist Esther Esteban assures that putting pressure on children to be the “best” affects them negatively. However, it is even worse to compare them to other children who are better at some activity.
Comparisons are obnoxious and unfair, since everyone emerges in what they are good at. Confrontation is a subtle reproach that sends a message to children: “you are not enough”. Raising happy children, on the other hand, means making them feel loved and appreciated.
If you believe you are parents who demand too much of their children, look within and ask yourself, “Why do I expect so much of them? Why am I pushing them to be “number one? What do I have to gain with my child’s success? What shortcomings am I hiding with my son’s success? ”.
Raising happy children means not expecting them to be perfect
Freedom is one of humanity’s most precious assets. History is full of struggles dedicated to the recovery of freedom. Therefore, do not be the ones to clip the wings of your children: let them be.
Of course, you have to guide them: it is your job as a parent. Remember, however, that you must also let your children be the protagonists of their life, and that it is essential that they decide which hobbies they want to pursue and for how long.
If there is no freedom, then it is not a hobby for them. Rather, it is a dream that parents want to make come true through their children. It is very important that you are clear: you too were children, and now it’s your children. Releasing the pressure and letting them be happy is great.
Always keep in mind that happiness has nothing to do with external factors, but rather with the degree of satisfaction we have with ourselves. Never forget that happiness is not achieved by accumulating large sums of money. You already know that there are thousands of unhappy millionaires. Don’t forget that happiness doesn’t even depend on the position you hold. You have surely seen more than one unhappy executive or business owner.
Always remember that happiness has to do with love, with the experiences you share with your loved ones, with the funny episodes that happen to you, with the gestures of love you receive. But, above all, with the acts of love you do.
