Intimacy: If You Are A Mom You Won’t Even Have It In The Bathroom
For mothers, what we call “intimacy” is a precious possession that has been lost for a long time, without even knowing how. We barely have a personal space, a moment just for us or to look in the mirror. At any moment, a cry, a cry, or a request for attention can arise. Here is the “super mom” must go to help.
Being a mother or a father is a task that takes not only 24 hours of the day, but twice as much. Especially because of the mental pressure caused by the many things a parent has to think about. The education of the children is added to the care of the house and the financial support.
According to a study published by the American Sociological Review, multitasking mothers who work inside and outside the home (barely having time for themselves) are more likely to suffer from stress and anxiety attacks.
It is clear that everyone is different. However, there is an essential aspect that we do not want to forget. Having your own intimacy from time to time is crucial. Private moments where we can take care of ourselves. We need to set limits to harmonize our life a little and enjoy our children to the fullest. We recommend that you think about it.
Intimacy, that thing we lost a long time ago
One thing we all know is that as much as we love our partner and enjoy his company, we always appreciate a few moments alone with ourselves. Our intimacy. A walk, a free morning to do what we want, an afternoon to read, a relaxing bath, etc.
Now, with the pregnancy and the birth of the first child, many things change. Obviously they change for the good. Because being a mom, being a dad, is an exceptional stage of growth where we all aim to be better and give the boy or girl everything they deserve. All the good of this world.
Nonetheless, we realize something surprising: we stop having time for ourselves. During the first months of life, the baby is an inseparable part of our skin, of our senses. Later, with the first steps, this internal “radar” is born in us with which we pretend to avoid any possible risk, to pay attention to everything that touches or that is brought to the mouth.
Going to the bathroom and closing the door is something we stop doing. We need to “listen” to keep an eye on them, never “let something happen”. In this way, and almost without realizing it, that thing we call intimacy disappears by itself as something we have had in the past and which we now miss.
Mom needs a breath every now and then
Our children need the best version of ourselves. So that we have to take this into account. A stressed father or mother who always reaches the limit of endurance will never be able to offer quality attention. Allowing ourselves moments of intimacy once in a while means health, balance and well-being.
A very important thing to do is to properly manage certain aspects. We suggest you take note.
Resting does not mean “disconnecting” from our children
- We will never leave our children alone. We will not lock ourselves in the bathroom for a relaxing shower if our child is still very young and is playing in the living room for example.
- Resting does not mean “disconnecting” from our children, but delegating responsibility to others. Simple as you read it. It is very important that we manage to organize the time between rest and obligations with our partner or other family members.
- Throughout the day you should be able to carve out at least an hour for yourself. Delegate your chores to your partner so you can relax, go out shopping, go for a walk, talk to a friend, or sleep if you need to.
The time comes, our children must understand what intimacy is
When children are six, seven or eight, the pressure of attention and care is reduced. It is time to negotiate responsibilities, spaces, obligations and moments of intimacy.
- You are not a bad mother if you say to your child with respect and love phrases like: “Mom needs to rest for half an hour”, “Mom is reading” or “Mom needs to relax and take a bath”.
- Our children must realize from an early age that adults also have needs. Privacy, respect for others and empathy are dimensions that we should promote in them while they are still small.
If you give me a moment of intimacy later I’ll be there just for you
Allowing ourselves to breathe is a way to recharge our batteries. There is nothing wrong with giving it to us. There’s nothing wrong with letting Grandma pick up the kids from school for an afternoon.
After these moments of intimacy, we will feel reborn. We will have full strength again to bring out a smile, to feed, to guide each step, to help with housework or to change diapers.
If you are mothers, you are warriors of everyday life. Nonetheless, even the best warriors need a few moments of intimacy to take off their armor, go to the bathroom, shave, spread some cream on their face and have a hot coffee.
There is nothing wrong with that.
