Secrets To Better Understand Your Partner
Life as a couple is not always as simple as we would like to think. It often happens that, in the midst of daily commitments and routines, communication loses a few bumps and some friction occurs. However, the situation can improve if there is a genuine desire on both sides. Through this article we thought we would share some secrets with you that will allow you to better understand your partner.
Our partner is the person with whom we share the most things in our life. It is the one that knows us best and that acts as a mirror for us in the clearest way. During some periods of coexistence, the discussions seem to grow for no apparent reason. The reality, however, is that all of this happens because somehow both members of the couple drift apart and stop understanding each other.
To understand your partner, understand distancing
Things have always gone well between you and your partner, with whom you share tastes, passions and a sense of humor. However, one day you catch yourself arguing non-stop because of the simpler reasons. You cannot remember when this dynamic began or how you came to this situation, but you are certain that you know that you want it to end.
Do not worry. Social relationships are a moving phenomenon that feeds on itself. When communication is positive, there is an exchange of satisfaction between both members, which pushes them to continue to behave in this way. In the same way, when communication begins to be negative, we enter, almost without realizing it, in a dynamic made up of recriminations and bad manners.
Inertia means that the communicative style we have adopted is destined to persist and grow. But why did we initiate this negative dynamic? Many times, simply from being too immersed in our daily worries and activities. Sometimes, we find ourselves overwhelmed by work, by children, by household chores… and we end up unloading our stress on the person closest to us.
Secrets to better understand your partner
Broaden your horizons
We all often fall into the mistake of thinking that our way of seeing things is the right one. Based on our interpretation of reality, we hope our partner behaves in a certain way. We generate expectations of what he should do or say, and when these are not met, we feel frustrated.
We try to remember that every person is a world and that what may be obvious to you may not be obvious to your partner. It is important that we strive to have flexible thinking and to be able to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. We do not take our partner’s intentions for granted. Before judging, let’s give them a chance.
Respect
If we want to have a pleasant and harmonious relationship, respect must be a fundamental pillar. Under no circumstances is it acceptable to attack the other person, either physically or verbally. It is not right to speak words that hurt and cause humiliation. First of all, it is about our partner, and, even in the most difficult situations, we must treat each other with respect and affection.
A respectful attitude makes it easier for the other person to open up to us. May she share her anxieties and feelings with us, without the fear of being reproached or rejected. The couple must be a safe place where both members feel welcomed. If there is no respect, it will be much more difficult to share intimate thoughts and deep reflections. And, without knowing each other, it is not possible to understand each other.
Assertiveness
Assertiveness is a very valuable tool, because it helps us not only to deliver a message, but also to make sure that the other person really perceives what we want to communicate to them. When we don’t use the right forms, our message can be misinterpreted. A sincere request to spend more time together may sound like a reproach to the other person; as a result, the flow of communication is interrupted.
We learn to express ourselves in a clear and mature way. We try to convey how we feel and what we want, without judging or disapproving of the other person. This is a much more effective way of being able to agree. In this way, we leave space for the other person to present their point of view to us, allowing us to reach a better understanding.
In summary, if you want to understand your partner better, you need to give him the space to express his point of view. You must respect his preferences and opinions, trying to reach respectful agreements. Once the positive dynamic has begun, it will be much easier to keep following it.
