The Pain Of Saying Goodbye To An Unborn Child
Saying goodbye to an unborn child is more difficult than you might think. It is one of the most bitter morsels that can be ingested. A huge tragedy to overcome, a fall from which it seems impossible to get up.
It takes a long time to process the sad event and we will hardly be able to understand why. Many hours are spent reflecting on what has happened to us and remembering the happy moments of pregnancy. We feel a strong disappointment and the sadness of having been so close to the final goal without being able to overcome it.
A long time goes by before I let go of the tears and the pain and find the smile again. It’s hard to stop thinking about what could have been, about our dreams and our plans. And it is even more difficult to understand why life has wanted things to go this way.
Despite all these thoughts, there comes a time when you have to stop and process what happened to us. And you have to do it definitively, without leaving anything pending. This is the time when you need to break away from your child and let him rest in peace forever. For this reason it is important and necessary to carry out a farewell rite.
While it may seem crazy to you, this technique really works. The rites heal our sufferings. See them as an additional help to overcome this moment and alleviate your suffering. They will allow you to overcome the loss and eliminate the negative emotions that accompany it.
How to say goodbye to an unborn child?
In the moments following death, confusion and anguish reign. We ask ourselves many questions and we have many fears and many feelings of guilt. You will probably never find the answers to your questions. What is certain is that you will be assailed by fear and a growing sense of guilt.
No matter how angry and afflicted you are, that future you had planned has momentarily vanished. Your deepest desires and your plans have dissolved into thin air. Suffering is inevitable and emotional blockage is imminent.
There seems to be no future anymore. To overcome this moment, the farewell rite becomes a fundamental tool – we could also say of vital importance – that allows you to process and overcome pain.
Why carry out a farewell ritual?
Many people will be wondering why this ritual is so important. First, to work through the loss of a child. Perhaps not everyone knows that there is a legal vacuum about it. In our society there is neither time nor place for this sad greeting (which is more difficult than one might imagine).
Thanks to this type of measures it is possible to guarantee an identity to the unborn child. In this way he will be given a place in the family and in society. There are details about perinatal bereavement that will surprise you negatively for how gory they are.
Considering the above, the third reason why it is important to perform the farewell ritual has to do with the emotional sphere. You will have the opportunity to work through grief and grief. It is not about forgetting, but about learning to live with it.
How to say goodbye to an unborn child
There is nothing fixed in farewell rites. Each couple, mother or father, chooses the most appropriate way. Everyone gives peace to the little one and to himself in the way he deems most appropriate.
It all depends on how you want to remember that unborn child. Experts suggest we resort to something simple. Let’s clarify immediately that it is not necessarily a religious rite, it can also be a symbolic gesture.
Planting a tree, writing a letter expressing your feelings before, during and after death, are some of the options you can choose. Alone or surrounded by loved ones, you can perform the ritual several times a day or on different days. Do what you feel inside: light candles, incense, aromatic oils. Everything that you remember and that makes you feel close to that special being.
You need to find a way that really helps you to mourn. Try to process the feelings and emotions you have experienced in the past and prepare to live in the present. Appreciate the wealth your child has given you, even if it didn’t come to the way.
The memory of this being (which has been, is and will be your way) can be associated with special places that will unite you spiritually: find them in nature, among centenary trees, by the sea or in the mountains.
You can dedicate a song to him or write simple words, but capable of expressing all your feelings. Another option may be to create a keepsake box where you can keep the ultrasound scans, the clothes they gave you or some pregnancy photos. They represent proof of his existence, of his fleeting passage in this life.
